What I’m Reading:
TW/CW: This blog contains conversation around suicide and death/dying.
I am writing to you from Miami, FL after just spending a week in Oak Island, NC. I’ve gotten a lot more sun than I do in Pittsburgh, and it’s been nice to kick off the summer (is it summer yet?) to the soundtrack of waves and the smell of sea air.
Since the first trip was a multi-generational family vacation and the second is a work convention, I haven’t had as much time to read as I would like. On the road trip to and from North Carolina, however (a trip that is very long from Pittsburgh—I would not recommend it!), I listened to the audio version of Fredrik Backman’s novel, A Man Called Ove.
Not surprisingly, the novel centers on a man named Ove, a 59-year-old Swedish curmudgeon who is irritated with the world and resistant to its cultural shifts. He is perceived by his neighbors, colleagues, and casual acquaintances to be rigid and uncompromising, and he has a difficult time maintaining relationships.
We find out quickly that Ove is planning his suicide, a plan that keeps being interrupted by annoying life responsibilities and people who need his attention. We also find out that Ove has recently lost his wife who is clearly the love of his life. The narrator describes them both—and their relationship—by way of contrast. Indeed, “He was a man of black and white. And she was color. All the color he had.”
We also understand that her death is the reason that he does not feel he can go on. Though Ove doesn’t talk much about his personal life with those around him, the narrator suggests, “If anyone asked, he would have told them that he never lived before he met her, and not after either.”
I don’t want to give too much away because A Man Called Ove is a novel I recommend you read for yourself (I promise it’s not as depressing as I made it seem). As I started it, I thought of so many men in my life who interact with the world in the same way Ove does, men who have become hardened to life’s beauty and who have stopped relating to the people within it with kindness or with a spirit of charitability. The story of Ove is the story of how he became like so many men I know, and his story reflects the pitfalls of masculine socialization in our culture.
What I’m Thinking About:
One of the common refrains, as Ove’s story unfolds, is that unless you know someone’s history, you cannot understand them. In telling Ove’s particular story, the narrator reflects, “A time like that comes for every man, when he chooses what sort of man he wants to be. And if you don’t know the story, you don’t know the man.”
The strength of the narrative is the process whereby Ove becomes coherent to the reader; the way his story comes together in all its beauty and pain. We are let into his internal world, and in so doing, we become sympathetic to his shortcomings and quirks.
This is a slow process, one that requires patience and dedication, but one that, in return, offers us insight into more than just Ove. Ove’s story offers insight into how men, through a process of socialization, become cut off from themselves and what the consequences of this are.
After listening to the audiobook, I watched the American film adaptation of the book on Netflix, A Man Called Otto, starring Tom Hanks. (Interesting factoid: parts of the movie were set just outside of Pittsburgh).
What I was reminded of while I watched the movie is that books can offer something movies simply can’t. While the movie gave a basic outline of the story—the events of Ove’s life—it was unable to translate how those events shaped Ove as a person. The movie simply couldn’t capture Ove’s internal life in the way that the book did.
One of the values of reading books, of engaging in long-form narrative, is that slow careful engagement gifts us with access to worlds other than our own, including the internal worlds of folks who live much different lives. I learned so much from reading the book, lessons that fell flat in movie form. It reminded me why reading is a unique opportunity for access to so much, one that is well worth the time investment.
What I’m Excited About:
Summer has not yet started and I’ve already done what feels like a tremendous amount of travel, but there is still more to come!
While I am writing this from Miami, you will be reading it while I’m in Cleveland.
This weekend I’ll be back in Pittsburgh for a couple of days, and then I’m going on a short New York State tour.
I hope to see you, too!
Booking & Availability:
I’ll be in Brooklyn, NY for a few days, and then I’ll be passing through Rochester and Buffalo, before returning to Pittsburgh. I will also be stopping by the Hudson Valley to do a photoshoot with my friend and colleague Ramona Flour.
Cleveland, OH | May 18-21
Brooklyn, NY | May 23-26
Rochester, NY | May 26-27
Buffalo, NY | May 27-28
Make sure to check out my complete travel schedule on my website.
